The wonders of language

I think we can all remember the days of amusing menus, featuring such delights as roast kiddy and lamp chops, but this week someone brought to our office what must be the ultimate in ‘babble translation’ – the only difference being that this is supposed to be a serious document, outlining property insurance cover offered by one of the major Greek banks.

The introduction informs us that the house “encompasses innumerable significances and sentiments” and that we must not only protect against various dangers but situations that also occur “if by any chance happens the villain”, and that their insurance protects us from “the unpleasant consequences of bad moment”.

Included are such essentials as “fall lightning” and “fall planes, fall trees, terrorist energies, burglary of pipings, policies disturbances and malice energy”, plus of course “damage the electric table and his wirings”.

And finally, peace of mind for all, as this policy has “explicit and comprehensible terms and conditions, in order to you are absolutely sure for the covers his our and obligations”.

There you are, now you know exactly what insurance cover you have should anything untoward occur!

Having said that, I do remember my mother in England having had home contents insurance for the last 30 years or so and never having claimed, had a fall, during which she cut herself and got blood on the carpet. When she contacted the insurance company to see if she could claim for a new carpet, they told her unfortunately not, as ‘it was an accident’. In future in Britain, take note – if you are going to do any damage in your house, make sure you do it on purpose!

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